I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
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We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
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I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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