I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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