I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
