If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize