You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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