why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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