Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
