I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
