Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
