I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
