May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
