i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
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Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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