Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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