I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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