I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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