I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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