Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
