Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
