you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
