Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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