You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
