I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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