im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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