that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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