so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
