she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
