Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
