i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
