his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
