I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
