Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
