Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
