I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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