i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
accomplished twins. life is a go
bring money and cleavage
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
