It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize