She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
