belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I accidentally burped into my bong.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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