Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
