She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
