I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
