can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
