I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
