Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
