soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
