Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
