forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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