actually, I'm a sock model
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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