these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
His nipple licking is glorious
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