Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
