I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
