dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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