I cockslap morals
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
