Have you finally orgasmed yet?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
