I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
