Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
no more duck duck goose at the bar
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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