but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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