so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
