where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
