For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
