so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
