He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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