Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do? http://tfl.nu/j1dk
  Replies (52) Good night (726) Bad night (2196)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking. http://tfl.nu/sgts
  Replies (16) Good night (1849) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth http://tfl.nu/y1ni
  Replies (23) Good night (548) Bad night (5092)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable? http://tfl.nu/rdbs
  Replies (13) Good night (2824) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Banned from zoo.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Again?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Banned from zoo. (301): Again? http://tfl.nu/bv0w
  Replies (44) Good night (17401) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese.... http://tfl.nu/man3
  Replies (41) Good night (5012) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me. http://tfl.nu/9j20
  Replies (58) Good night (4001) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars. http://tfl.nu/h8m5
  Replies (15) Good night (6047) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it. http://tfl.nu/eofg
  Replies (11) Good night (1319) Bad night (6259)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment. http://tfl.nu/2sfo
  Replies (7) Good night (1863) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence. (816): Your vagina must be laced with cocaine... http://tfl.nu/n747
  Replies (7) Good night (1811) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): I want to break his glasses with my pelvis. http://tfl.nu/5x22
  Replies (10) Good night (1998) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit. (309): Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed? http://tfl.nu/sacc
  Replies (3) Good night (941) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Those were right hand only?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times. (224): Those were right hand only? http://tfl.nu/iwna
  Replies (2) Good night (751) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!

  (425): View more from Washington

  Just 2. But still.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?! (425): Just 2. But still. http://tfl.nu/bmdt
  Replies (2) Good night (648) Bad night (190)

Randomize