There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's shark week go big or go home
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Couch. On fire.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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