Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?

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  (770): Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich? http://tfl.nu/e2fw
  Replies (17) Good night (2123) Bad night (1062)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife

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  (386): I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife http://tfl.nu/xcgm
  Replies (37) Good night (3942) Bad night (1419)
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  (562): View more from California

  biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009

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  (562): biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009 http://tfl.nu/05kt
  Replies (15) Good night (996) Bad night (3763)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  ..im mad u rememberd about that

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  (732): i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt (1-732): ..im mad u rememberd about that http://tfl.nu/q0le
  Replies (14) Good night (987) Bad night (3415)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?

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  (713): OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer? http://tfl.nu/g8wt
  Replies (13) Good night (799) Bad night (2405)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Make me a sandwich

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.

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  (845): Make me a sandwich (301): The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich. http://tfl.nu/al2a
  Replies (28) Good night (6093) Bad night (747)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"

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  (814): Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose" http://tfl.nu/62vb
  Replies (5) Good night (1210) Bad night (479)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.

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  (603): NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING. http://tfl.nu/lnbz
  Replies (7) Good night (1170) Bad night (469)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook

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  (585): Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook http://tfl.nu/4sfp
  Replies (6) Good night (1459) Bad night (439)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.

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  (830): I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate. http://tfl.nu/ytk5
  Replies (1) Good night (757) Bad night (613)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?

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  (604): If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair? http://tfl.nu/cjor
  Replies (7) Good night (554) Bad night (754)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.

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  (801): You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it. http://tfl.nu/4jnb
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (237)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away

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  (403): Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away http://tfl.nu/gyy8
  Replies (1) Good night (401) Bad night (273)
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  (562): View more from California

  You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.

  (310): View more from California

  Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?

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  (562): You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed. (310): Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon? http://tfl.nu/cki1
  Replies (2) Good night (904) Bad night (310)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  this is why i love drunk you

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  (520): Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI (1-520): this is why i love drunk you http://tfl.nu/owbm
  Replies (2) Good night (767) Bad night (234)

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