im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.