Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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