I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We are two peas in an std pod
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
