I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
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I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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