There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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